doctordoolittlegeek

holy
Originally uploaded by boxen.

I am feeling rather shitty today - don't think I slept enough last night. the weekend - while immensely productive, was solitary & lacking sunshine. my only point of social contact all weekend was doctordoolittle - who's informed me yesterday that he's flying up shortly & would like to catch up. went through the whole very-boring routine of nosexishappening - and I'mnotinterested - and it was all very okay until he mentioned someone he slept with recently who I knew a long time ago & totally did not like, and evidentally he liked just_enough to be able to screw - which made me wonder if he's just plain desperate.

While I have no interest with being involved with him on a physical level - as far as I'm concerned he's a slut; and they're no good to have around. he comes across as meek and mildmannered, and they're the most dangerous of all. I made it all very clear, as always. I really don't know why I maintain any hope in mankind. they're all so disappointing.

Now what may happen is one of two things. He comes here - we're bored with each other; which really could happen very easily. Or - it's very easy to not care as I trust in what he has said; and become totally carefree. Apparently the best way of getting a guy to be interested is to treat him like a friend (said with bitter irony). Then he will do all but propose & will serve me with a friendship ultimatum.

I so rang my ex-friend up and sobbed over the phone. I have neverever done that before. I just had a crap week full of morbidity and mortality. seem to have gotten a grip now - sometimes it's easy to realise that you haven't done what you wanted to do here.

I wish I wanted a family.